Today marks the 3 week anniversary of my marriage. It has been a pretty exceptional three weeks, as two of those were spent honeymooning and one was spent getting back into the swing of things: doing lots of laundry, going back to work, grocery shopping and cooking. We are waiting to see the pictures our wedding photographer took, so instead of sharing a bunch of wedding photos I want to talk about the things I wish I knew or paid attention to when I was planning.
Planning a wedding is a weird thing. Lots of people will tell you it is super stressful. Some people tell you it is no big deal. Mostly its just very expensive. Once you have come to terms with that then you have to make a bunch of choices about things that have never really mattered before. The options are endless. I was nervous I would never be able to make any decisions because, let’s face it, I have a problem with that. Once we found the venue though everything else just built itself around that.
While I was having a pretty easy time making decisions, (minus cake flavors; that my friends was very difficult) I was still nervous about how it would all come together. I considered how many dances I helped to plan and decorate in junior high and high school (thank you leadership) and knew it would be fine but, alas, there are still some things I wished I had known. So I am going to share them with you, you know, in case you ever need to plan a wedding, shop for a wedding dress or entertain people in general.
- You will be jealous that your groom gets to wear black. I mean white, ivory, champagne and blush are all fine, feminine colors, but black is slimming. Enough said.
- The top of your dress will be a very weird shape. When I got my dress the Madonna-esque boob shape was not working for me. I think it would have been less of a sticking point if I had expected it. The the lady who altered my dress told me weird boob shape is standard. So ladies, expect a weirdly shaped bodice, it looks fine in the pictures.
- Get the cups sewn into your dress. Since many modern wedding dresses have low backs you can’t wear regular bras. They do make special low back bras, some with shape-wear, some without that all seem extremely complicated and uncomfortable. I strategically picked a dress that covered my problem areas without needing shape-wear so I really didn’t want to wear something constricting. Also, I didn’t want to shell out $50 or more for something to go under my dress. Hmm that seems a little weird since I have never worn anything more expensive than that wedding dress…Anyway, the woman who altered my dress gave me these awesome cups that kept everything in place without having to buy any weird undergarments or have anything sticking to my skin. But, she didn’t sew them in. This became a problem when I had to have my dress steamed before the wedding. When it came back to me it had to be put in a much larger bag and the cups, the wonderful, lifting cups, were left in the old bag. This led to the top of the dress not fitting as well as it had when the cups were in place. Luckily I had some back-up, but it just didn’t quite get me to my desired look. So I recommend the cups, but beg your seamstress to sew them in.
- Pick your footwear with dancing in mind. This might seem obvious because most women can’t dance the night away in high heels. I thought of that. What I didn’t think about was how hot it would be to dance in boots. You see, I wore boots to take photos outside in the snow. They were so comfortable I decided they would be my dancing shoes. My poor legs were sweating up a storm. At one point I went outside and unzipped them and left them that way for the rest of the night (true story). Boots are great for dancing, but under all that tulle, they are HOT. You have been warned.
- Learn to talk flowers. Gown and flowers were the hardest, most frustrating part of the wedding. After the initial conversation with my florist I was hopeful. She seemed to be very detailed and I loved that. But as time went on I realized she asked me all of the same questions every, single time we talked. So she wasn’t really hearing me. I sent her photos of what I wanted, but she focused more on color and I wanted her to focus more on shape. I only realized this after I saw my flowers. So learn to talk about the overall look of the bouquet. Talk about if you want it round or more organic. Do you want anything to drape? What shape flowers do you want? Full and round or more flat? Make sure to mention these things.
- The decisions you make will make your guests happy if they make you happy. This is the most important thing I learned. I was extremely happy with the wedding and it seemed like everyone else was too. Just try to enjoy it. Don’t sweat the small stuff and if things aren’t exactly how you want them, don’t point it out. No one knows what the pictures in your brain look like except you. The focus of the day should truly be on the commitment you are making to a very special person. That is beautiful no matter what.
And now I leave you some pictures of the view from the venue, Edgewood Tahoe.
It was such a perfect, magical, winter wonderland for my very special day. And now I am a wife! Crazy!!!
Until next time,
I love you more than dancing boots and bridal bouquets,