I’ve been doing a lot of reading. If you know me this is not surprising. Here is something that may surprise you about me: I have never been a goal setter. Ever. The only goals I make are simple to-do lists, or yearly goals for number of books read. That is it. Now, the time for making New Year’s resolutions has come and gone. So why am I thinking about goals? A ton of my reading material has been directing me towards, you guessed it, —–> goals.
As I have been reading about the reasons why people make goals I have figured out why I don’t make them. It is scary. To decide that there is actually something you want enough to put it down on paper and out into the universe is terrifying, at least for me.
A long time ago, who knows when really, I decided that making goals would make me rigid and I wanted to be well-rounded. I decided that to be flexible meant to keep all your options open at all times. I decided that as long as I was doing well with whatever I was doing, that was enough. This worked for me. I have been happy. I earned a Bachelor’s degree and finished college with a high GPA. But guess what, I couldn’t even pick a major that pointed me in the direction of a career.
Do you know why? I wanted to keep my options open. I was convinced that my Liberal Studies degree could turn into 100’s of Masters programs I might want to try, or it may even work to get me into law school to become a judge (yes, I considered that and yes I studied for the LSAT and enjoyed it). Or it could help me get a job in HR. Or whatever. I really did not know, or even think about it very hard. I didn’t want to do the work to figure it out. I wanted to be flexible. I mean, they have been saying for years the job market for college grads isn’t so hot. So really I was doing myself a favor, right?
All of this may be true and in fact, my Liberal Studies degree landed me the dream job I never even knew existed until I was introduced to Great Hearts though my husband’s work. I never stop pondering what I might want to go back to school for someday. But I think that is 100% more about wanting to be a student and 100% not goal driven. I have been avoiding goals. This is not doing me any favors.
As I have been reading about people who make goals, listening to podcasts where people are talking about goals, just pondering goals, I get squeamish. Seriously. I start to feel all weird inside and a little like I can’t put my book down or get through that part in an interview fast enough. Of course this reaction has caused me to lay awake at night and wonder why I am having this reaction. Why am I allergic to goals? I am discovering there are many layers and reasons for this, but one of the big ones is I am afraid to commit because I am afraid to fail. Not even fail, but just suck at something so bad people could comment on how bad it was. Yikes, junior high mentality much?
This fear is a real thing though. I can’t ignore it, but I can try to change it. So here I am publicly stating that I need to make goals. I need to find things in my life that are concrete and important enough to work toward. I need to put myself out there for the things I am passionate about. Because if you are going to say your passionate about something shouldn’t you be making an effort to delight in it? I think so.
So the next step will be to put pen to paper and start dreaming up some goals. The very first one on that list will be: Make goals. It’s a start right?
Until Next Time,
I love you more than studying for the LSAT and a possible career in HR, or as a museum curator, or a judge…,